A friend of mine is no longer in the physical. I have been grieving his chosen passing. He committed suicide in early December of 2015. I could say many things and go in many directions with the words that I will type, but what I keep coming back to is the word RELEASE.
Prior to this event, I have to admit that I didn’t understand suicide at all. Whether it was naive or not comprehending, which in fairness I may not ever; nevertheless, thought suicide to be selfish. A way to cheat or devalue “your” life. However, I was only looking at it through my own lenses and not the lens of John or the many others who deal with the uncountable reasons for a weighted life daily. I think of life as a gift, a chance to exercise our lessons that we came here to learn.
John talked about moments as being magic. For me, my attempt to capture what I see as magic in my memory is often best exposed in writing, and when needed healed through it as well. I tried many times to post the poem I wrote with John in mind. I couldn’t, because then it would be a statement, it would become real.
Tonight with a full moon rising “at the axis of Virgo the Virgin and Pisces the Dreamer” (Mystic Mamma, Astral Insights 2/22/16), it feels ripe for releasing. I dedicate this poem to John, who helped me to find my initial footing in Boston. Giving me friendship, community and encouragement to keep writing and reading out loud. Thank you John, may your memory be magic.
There you are going
Watching hairs stand on air
Chuckling, tossing a coaster
Someone you should meet
You came a pit, a patter on my pain
Where was the morning rain?
This wren felt its fire
This wren found its flight
May magic release each morning light